Week 36: Vote for the SPL! Independence works!
At a time when Scotland continues to reflect on the inability of her 'leaders' to organise an election, or indeed the proverbial brewery knees-up, it was comforting to note that the staging of decent football matches also appears to be somewhat beyond the borders of her ambition.
Witness the rather remarkable outpouring of angst by sportswriters following Falkirk's 1-0 home win over Inverness CT, a torrent of reflection not seen since the Buddha decided to pause for a while under a rather shady fig tree. In saying that, at least he got a religion out of it.
"There comes a point in every football supporter's life when they wonder what on earth drives them to bear witness to grown men toiling around a patch of grass," pondered Ryan Taylor in the Herald, the knife only inches from a major artery. Still he can always go round to Darryl's and watch grown men toiling around a patch of matting in a cage, which should be of some comfort. Nevertheless poor Ryan was not alone; an unhappy press pack were lining up to bash what little football was on display. The match inspired Alan Gallacher of Scotland On Sunday to bemoan "season by season a spirit-crushing league formation kept together by greed-fuelled self preservation, with scant, if any, regard given to the paying punter who has to pay hard-earned money to watch this sort of tired, jaded borefest." The game also led the Sunday Herald's Dave Hammond to put forward an end-of-season theory of his own: "Football does not have to be dull. Even end of season run-outs should contain something of interest. This is, after all - whether you like it or not - part of the entertainment industry."*
*I agree with 1) as I have been fortunate enough to see football played anywhere else other than the SPL, and I can confirm that despite warnings circulating to the contrary, it is possible to make three consecutive passes without exploding. As regards 2), how about a seal who can do keepie-uppies with a haddock. Sadly 3) is too weird to even speculate on - imagine Scottish football being 'entertaining'?
In a country which struggles to put a cross in a box, it was refreshing to see the Polish master of the art, Artur Boruc, make another tit of himself following Celtic's ignominious 2-0 defeat to Rangers at Ibrox. Sadly Boruc's post-match flag show - now that's entertainment - failed to distract attention from another poor performance from the visitors, and the assembled scribes were in no mood to let a prime opportunity to criticise slip through their slightly mangled and most certainly grubby paws.
Patrick Glenn in the The Observer watched "a defeat that betrayed the Scottish champions' frailties as currently incurable" in "a largely pedestrian and untidy contest", while The Scotsman's Glenn Gibbons thought Celtic's "lameness of their resistance to Rangers' ambition dishonoured their status as champions". Phil Gordon in the Independent On Sunday carried on the shoeing, seeing the performance of Gordon Strachan's side as "a meek and shoddy capitulation to their rivals that will be unacceptable to their fans", and the Daily Record's Keith put it in all it's tabloid short-sentenced glory: "This was not just a defeat. This was an embarrassment." Take that.
Talking of embarassing, Hearts were unable to put any further pressure on Aberdeen for a UEFA Cup place following the 1-1 draw between the sides at Tynecastle, while St Mirren enhanced the likelihood that they will be playing SPL football next season - lucky them - with a 2-0 away win at Dundee United.
Sadly these games didn't produce any tears unlike Kilmarnock's 1-0 win over Hibernian at Easter Road. "How [this] Hibernian side did not win this match is beyond comprehension," wept a disappointed Richard Moore in Scotland On Sunday. "Seldom can a team have had so much possession, showed so much skill, energy and ideas, only to end up with absolutely nothing." Much like the Scottish Senior Citizens Unity Party then. Sad times.
Witness the rather remarkable outpouring of angst by sportswriters following Falkirk's 1-0 home win over Inverness CT, a torrent of reflection not seen since the Buddha decided to pause for a while under a rather shady fig tree. In saying that, at least he got a religion out of it.
"There comes a point in every football supporter's life when they wonder what on earth drives them to bear witness to grown men toiling around a patch of grass," pondered Ryan Taylor in the Herald, the knife only inches from a major artery. Still he can always go round to Darryl's and watch grown men toiling around a patch of matting in a cage, which should be of some comfort. Nevertheless poor Ryan was not alone; an unhappy press pack were lining up to bash what little football was on display. The match inspired Alan Gallacher of Scotland On Sunday to bemoan "season by season a spirit-crushing league formation kept together by greed-fuelled self preservation, with scant, if any, regard given to the paying punter who has to pay hard-earned money to watch this sort of tired, jaded borefest." The game also led the Sunday Herald's Dave Hammond to put forward an end-of-season theory of his own: "Football does not have to be dull. Even end of season run-outs should contain something of interest. This is, after all - whether you like it or not - part of the entertainment industry."*
*I agree with 1) as I have been fortunate enough to see football played anywhere else other than the SPL, and I can confirm that despite warnings circulating to the contrary, it is possible to make three consecutive passes without exploding. As regards 2), how about a seal who can do keepie-uppies with a haddock. Sadly 3) is too weird to even speculate on - imagine Scottish football being 'entertaining'?
In a country which struggles to put a cross in a box, it was refreshing to see the Polish master of the art, Artur Boruc, make another tit of himself following Celtic's ignominious 2-0 defeat to Rangers at Ibrox. Sadly Boruc's post-match flag show - now that's entertainment - failed to distract attention from another poor performance from the visitors, and the assembled scribes were in no mood to let a prime opportunity to criticise slip through their slightly mangled and most certainly grubby paws.
Patrick Glenn in the The Observer watched "a defeat that betrayed the Scottish champions' frailties as currently incurable" in "a largely pedestrian and untidy contest", while The Scotsman's Glenn Gibbons thought Celtic's "lameness of their resistance to Rangers' ambition dishonoured their status as champions". Phil Gordon in the Independent On Sunday carried on the shoeing, seeing the performance of Gordon Strachan's side as "a meek and shoddy capitulation to their rivals that will be unacceptable to their fans", and the Daily Record's Keith put it in all it's tabloid short-sentenced glory: "This was not just a defeat. This was an embarrassment." Take that.
Talking of embarassing, Hearts were unable to put any further pressure on Aberdeen for a UEFA Cup place following the 1-1 draw between the sides at Tynecastle, while St Mirren enhanced the likelihood that they will be playing SPL football next season - lucky them - with a 2-0 away win at Dundee United.
Sadly these games didn't produce any tears unlike Kilmarnock's 1-0 win over Hibernian at Easter Road. "How [this] Hibernian side did not win this match is beyond comprehension," wept a disappointed Richard Moore in Scotland On Sunday. "Seldom can a team have had so much possession, showed so much skill, energy and ideas, only to end up with absolutely nothing." Much like the Scottish Senior Citizens Unity Party then. Sad times.
posted by nothing.if.not @ 9:52 AM
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