Week 1: Prso Leading the People To Victory

Profligacy was the word of the day following Rangers' 2-1 win over Motherwell at Fir Park, with Thomas Buffel the main culprit according to most observers. Indeed such was the wastefulness of the Belgian that Ewan Murray of the Guardian felt that "on this evidence the Slovak striker [Sebo] is much needed." The Herald's Mark Wilson noted that Rangers "created enough chances to win a month's worth of matches" and that for much of the first half, Motherwell were "chasing vapour trails" such was the movement of the visitor's attack. Ewing Grahame in the Telegraph concurred as Motherwell were "out-numbered and outmanoeuvred in midfield, [and] had no answer to the pace and movement of Le Guen's side." Nick Harris of the Independent had obviously been to see Pirates of the Caribbean 2 during the summer as he commented on Steven Smith's "swashbuckling runs" while Phil Gordon in the Times opened his report with a stroll down Tenuity Avenue. "With his long hair Dado Prso resembles a French revolutionary hero," wrote Gordon. "So, it was fitting that he was the man who ensured that Paul Le Guen'’s reign at Rangers began with a hard-fought win at Fir Park yesterday." Sublime stuff.

While the reaction to Paul Le Guen's first game in charge was unanimously positive, several reporters were not so enthusiastic about the Rangers support and their choice of aural accompaniment, which Wilson noted was "in direct defiance of the reiterated plea from David Murray, the club chairman, to abandon any sectarian baggage."

Week 1: While I nodded, nearly napping, suddenly there came a tip-tapping

The new SPL season rose from its summer slumber on Saturday as Celtic overcame their pre-season inhibitions to ease past Kilmarnock 4-1 at Parkhead. The Sunday Herald’s Michael Grant saw a “smooth, satisfying” performance filled with “verve and composure” while Patrick Glenn in The Observer thought Celtic at times “buzzed with ambition and inventiveness”. Maciej Zurawski and Kenny Miller also looked “promising” as a partnership according to Grant, while the AFP reporter appreciated their “lively display.” However, Andrew Smith of Scotland on Sunday sounded a small note of caution believing the Celtic showing to be “the same mix of good and indifferent” as last season with Gary Caldwell especially “[failing] to convince”, an opinion shared by committed-Caldwell sceptic Mark Guidi in the Sunday Mail.

The raising of the Premier League flag provided a key into the story for a lot of the scribes but Phil Gordon in the Independent could not resist the inevitable Zurawski-inspired pun. “The day had begun with the Celtic captain, Neil Lennon, and chairman, Brian Quinn, unfurling the championship flag for 2005-06 and ended with a Pole raising the standard,” said Gordon, seemingly with no hint of shame. But just to show the press box possesses more than one great mind - who may or may not have been sitting beside the other one - Douglas Alexander in The Sunday Times reckoned “Poles come in handy when you are trying to raise a flag properly.”

Opinions on Kilmarnock’s performance were thin on the ground with Alexander paying them the false compliment of “polite guests”, while Glenn saw a “gap in class” between Celtic and the “subdued” visitors. Gordon thought Kilmarnock’s “crisp passing a joy to watch” in the opening 25 minutes although no one else, apart from their manager, was prepared to be as kind. Jim Jefferies thought the score was not “a fair reflection” but lamented his side’s “sloppy play” and in a moment of neologistic reflection thought Kilmarnock played too much “tippy tappy” football.

Strachan thought his side was “excellent” although the Celtic manager seems seldom to be above reproach, even after 4-1 victories, as his “satisfaction with his team's performance embraced a slight smugness”, according to Glenn.

At Easter Road, Hibernian were held to a 1-1 draw with Aberdeen but Tony Mowbray's side received rave notices for their performance with a profligacy in front of goal their only crime. Martin Hannan in Scotland on Sunday thought Hibs were “by far the better side” and “totally dominant”. The Sunday Herald’s Natasha Woods thought Tony Mowbray’s side built up a “torrent of pressure” but were let down by “the vulnerabilities which betrayed [them] last season”, namely a lack of goalscoring prowess. Hannan thought Aberdeen were “frankly disappointing” while Rodger Baillie in the Sunday Times appears to have seen enough of the Dons already to know “they look as far away as ever from making a real impact at the top again.”

Another team looking unlikely to rise above the mediocrity of last season were Dundee United who appear to be a house divided after their disappointing 2-1 home defat to Falkirk. Dave Hammond in the Sunday Herald cited Falkirk’s “domination of midfield” as a reason for their victory at Tannadice and lamented that United were “outclassed” and based on this performance, are “likely to struggle.” Robert Thomson in the Sunday Times felt it was a “dreadful afternoon” for United, compounded by the indiscreet lashing of manager Craig Brewster by chairman Eddie Thompson after the match. In contrast to the morbid air around United, Thomson thought Falkirk looked “a young and vibrant” team.

Blood and guts were on the menu at East End Park as Hearts edged past Dunfermline in a 2-1 win. Moira Gordon in Scotland on Sunday thought Hearts showed “character”, normally code for something else, in their victory over Dunfermline. The Sunday Herald’s Stewart Fisher saw “moments of real quality” in the visitor’s display but The Sunday Times’s Simon Buckland delivered a harsher verdict believing “if you want to reach the Old Firm’s standards, you have to be judged by them” and “Dunfermline away should be maximum points every time.” Ouch.

St. Mirren marked their first game in the top-flight for five years with a 2-1 win at Inverness CT. Scotland on Sunday’s Alistair Fraser thought the visitors successfully managed “to mimic the strength, solidity and counter-attacking expertise” of their hosts, making them sound a little like Barcelona, but Mark Palmer of The Sunday Times agreed believing “Inverness were presented with a mirror image of their stooge-like selves.” Palmer also managed to deliver the weekend’s most chilling piece of writing that was obviously a tribute to the late Mickey Spillane. “John Rankin, the debutant, spiked over a brutal left-footed ball from just outside the box that comprehensively took out the St Mirren centre-backs and seared onto Dargo’s forehead for a coruscating opener. In an act of immediate reprisal, St Mirren drew blood. After Brown had spluttered over, then coughed up, a drive from Craig Molloy…” And I thought Edgar Allan Poe was dark.